Jan 15,2009.
At lunch as a matter of routine, I go to one of the restaurants
in Hargeisa. Every time I go to eat, there are a number of cats who want to
eat with me. So whenever I eat, I am aware of the cats. Most of the time, I
throw a little bit of what I am eating. But I found out it is difficult to satisfy
a cat. To start with, they don’t eat all what you throw at them. They are
very choosy to a point of irrationality. Whoever said; “beggars are not
choosers “was wrong. Definitely a cat is a beggar and a chooser at the
same time. The cat does not want the rice or the Pasto I eat. The cat is only
interested in fish and meat. The Economist who postulated that “there
is no free lunch” was wrong too. Cats here in Hargeisa eat free lunch.
A cat wants to sleep in a cozy and warm place too; very unlike other animals.
What makes the cat so different?
One day a cat came to me as soon as my order of whole fish; pronounced here
as holy fish has arrived. The cat came so close to me and looked at me in the
eyes and said Miyow miyow. It was a good looking cat you never thought will
make begging as her profession. Without giving much thought, I shouted at the
cat; “you cats are unthinkable, I only eat after a hard work and you want
me to share my food with you? You want to eat fish you don’t even know
where it comes from? You want to eat fish and you don’t know how to catch
a fish? You want to eat a fish and you don’t know how to swim? This fish
comes from the sea and you have not even seen a sea? You want to sleep in a
house which does not belong to you? And above all, you beg and choose at the
same time. You are an incredible being. What makes you think you can have all
that without sweating for it? Are you a Somali”?
The cat stared at me in a strange way and smiled. Apparently the cat was astonished
at my unexpected and irrational outburst and said, “May be I share that
and only that with you Somalis, but otherwise we have nothing in common. Don’t
you forget, I am the clever cat and I perfectly know what I am doing. As far
as begging is concerned, I see no sense in working hard when I can get it free.
Secondly most of the fat free meat I eat is a throw away anyway and I don’t
have to work for that too. However a cat can’t understand why you throw
away the best parts of the meat. In relation to my choice of fish food; a cat
knows that fish is the best food for health because it increases the brain power
and that is why cats are clever. If you eat a lot of fish I am sure you will
see no sense in fighting with each other.
Cat’s second favorite food is meat without fats. Fat is a health hazard
and cats do not eat, because the health of a cat is our top priority. It is
hard to comprehend though, why you don’t eat fish; the best food there
is and luckily you have all the fish in the world. We cats know that animal
fat causes all kinds of diseases such as blood pressure, diabetes and possibly
cancer. To come to my point, please spare me of being a Somali; I beg you; it
is not a good time to be a Somali. I am a genuine cat and I am contented with
what I am. Just call me Basho a sub-clan of the Yanyur tribe… the biggest
and of course the best. If you asked me the same question in 1960, I would have
been honored to be a Somali; not any more. Think of how many of your loved ones
die in the high seas to get another nationality every month. It is the ultimate
disgrace for a nation. Sorry sir I am not looking for a nationality change,
I am not a Somali.
I was rather offended by the uncalled and unexpected reply of the cat and I
replied angrily, “Look who is talking, a cat refuses to be a Somali; grapes
are sour. You little horrible thing you misread what I said. By any means I
did not invite you to be a Somali. We had the false notion that cats though
beggars are yet clever. From your reply, it seems we were terribly mistaken,
and for heaven’s sake, who on earth asked you about your Basho or Yanyur
tribe, and what difference would a cat’s tribe make anyway”? I responded.
“If I misread your question it is not my fault. It is you who has to make
it clearer. It is you who asked me whether I am a Somali or not in the first
place and I gave you an honest reply. I have no intention of making you angry
for I need a piece of the fish you have. Cats are very grateful and very gracious
beings. We receive with great gratitude whatever is given to us. We don’t
bite or cut or kill the hand that feeds us like the Somalis do. Sorry sir; I
am not a Somali. To answer the question concerning my tribe, I said that only
to impress you, because the only thing you worship is tribalism and I wanted
to be in your good books by claiming to be from a big tribe. But to tell you
the truth, a cat has no tribal affiliation and above all don’t fight along
tribal lines. I can’t imagine a situation where a cat fights with another
cat like the Somalis do. No, I can’t be a Somali, it is not my type”,
said the cat.
“Don’t you play an angel with me; you are known to be merciless with
rats and mice. Every time you see an innocent and helpless rat or a mouse you
viciously attack, kill them and eat them. You are one of the cruelest beings
known to us, and you can’t deny that… you compassionate cat!”
I replied.
“But remember at least we have a method in our madness. I hope you are
not accusing us of cats killing cats. To us that would be the ultimate crime
and we don’t do that. It is a fact of life though, that the rat and the
mice are criminals. They live by moonlighting and stealing, a trait cats abhor.
On the other hand a rat and a mouse are delicious live foods. Yes we kill them
for their crimes but we don’t waste them; we eat them. It is a fair punishment
for thugs and thieves. But Somali men kill each other only for the sake of killing.
Your women are equally cruel to their young ones. They brutally attach their
daughters at an early age. A Somali mother removes essential body parts of her
daughter with a cruel cutting knifing knife against the will of her daughter,
against her religion and against humanity at large. Only a Somali mother can
mutilate the body parts of her daughter to protect the chastity of her daughter.
In the process what she wanted to protect either has been removed or destroyed
beyond repair. In complete contrast, the cat family does not mix protection
and preservation with mutilation and destruction. Somali men use bullets to
kill and a Somali mother uses a knife as weapon of mass destruction; which makes
Somalis a suffering society. I can’t read you Somalis. What is wrong with
you? I am sure something has gone wrong somewhere. A cat can’t figure out
that, but I am all agog to know if you have one good news from anywhere. I will
be glad to hear that”, the cat said.
“Are you intentionally trying to pull my leg little cat? If your intention
is that, then you are a stupid and a misinformed cat. Your accusations are based
on false premises and are unfounded”, I asked in a despising manner.
“I don’t want to brag about an unfortunate situation, but prove me
otherwise. The BBC broadcasts horrifying deeds carried out by Somalis from suicide
bombing, underground bombing to high sea pirating and a lot more horrific deeds
to themselves based either on religious extremism or tribal affiliation. All
the news I hear from Somalis inside or outside is bad and brutal. Somalis have
a pendulum like mentality that swings from extreme to extreme with vengeance.
The roads in Hargeisa are congested with cars and yet people walk as though
there are no cars. As a cat, I know that cars are dangerous. When we see one
coming, we run for our lives; whereas Somalis in Hargeisa do not.
A Qat intoxicated Somali man behind the wheels of a car who is accountable
to nobody makes the streets of Hargeisa a mad house. I am sorry sir, a cat will
not accept to be a Somali on the streets of Hargeisa. It is too dangerous for
a cat. I heard about the so called rule of the jungle. Take it from the clever
cat’s mouth; the rule of the jungle is much better than the traffic rules
in Hargeisa. Hargeisa’s roads and streets are chaotic, dangerous and nobody
cares. A cat does not have nine lives to live as the popular myth goes, but
one life to live. The death and destruction of one cat diminishes me because
I am a member of the cat family.
In sheer contrast, the Somalis somehow belief the death and destruction of
one tribe is beneficial to another tribe. That is one more reason why a cat’s
mind and a Somali mind will never meet and that is why I don’t want to
be a Somali. No hard feelings my friend and please give me a bit of the fish
in your hand. After talking so long, I deserve that at least today for as you
said; there is no free lunch or free talk either”, concluded the cat.
Dr. Omer Ibrahim Hussein
Omarh1980@hotmail.com
